This Little Light of Mine...

Vintage Poster Prints

So, I have done some major slacking on my writing. I nearly choked when I noticed that my last posting was in September..Yikes!!!! Isn't it funny how something which brings us so much joy, gets lost in the shuffle of busy-ness!?
I discovered or rather uncovered something about myself since that last post. Oh, who am I kidding, I have probably had 2,765 Aha moments since September. I live in my head...analyzing..reanalyzing....what if'ing and picking things apart. Tired of spending brain power on how to combat this tendency, I learned to embrace it and came to the very sophisticated conclusion of..."that's just how I roll"! Funny or rather cliche as it seems, it took replacing a burnt out light bulb to get me to this point. Let me explain.
I lived nearly 4 months in partial light. 2 out of 3 of the sconce fixtures in my bedroom burned out on the same day. I asked my son to scale the armoire and attempt to replace the bulbs (the position of my furniture blocked the fixtures... somewhat). He could not or maybe he would not oblige me. So I accepted my partial darkness. Admittedly, this was a nuisance (at first) but, there is something about the human spirit which quickly learns to adjust. I learned to maneuver quite well with little light. Soon I even forgot I was in darkness. 

Image from Wall Paper Stock

A few weeks ago, while cleaning my bedroom, I pondered what would be my next life move. Should I plan a trip, prepare for my next promotion, return to a university for a Master's Degree, check my Facebook, search for my USB cord?...Oh just stop it already! Stay focused on the task at hand. And in the midst of this self-talk, I noticed a small metal folding chair in the corner of the room. Quickly, I grabbed the chair and two new light bulbs. I swapped the old for the new. And that was it. After months in the darkness, it suddenly became so easy so clear..or so clearly easy. Why did I not think of this before?
As I discarded that which was no longer useful, I chuckled at how simple it was to change. I opted to remain in darkness for months. I actually readjusted my lifestyle around the partial light. But now I see.
I realized something about myself during this "Let there be Light" moment. My inability to see manageable solutions often causes a paralysis. As my mind churns the ideas of planning a fabulous vacation or redecorating my room and if I can not develop a successful logical means of making it happen, I let it go. I don't completely let it go, I mean I tend to let it go in a place it on the back burner sort of way. Now, for anyone who truly knows me, they know that once I make up my mind, I move to action. It's the pre- once I make up my mind part that often leaves me at a standstill.

Colored Flames

Well, it no longer serves me to think this way. I choose to open myself up to possibilities. And even when it makes no real logical sense or I don't have everything or everyone all figured out, I will make some kind of move. I will trust myself more. I will continue to become all of myself by leaving behind unproductive thoughts. And even if I do not succeed at all to which I put my hands, I will remember that failure is only when I choose not to try again. Above all else, I will remember that it is my responsibility and privilege to allow my light to shine.
May you come to a brilliant understanding of your beauty and gifts. And may you use them wisely and generously.

Go confidently in the direction of your dreams. Live the life you have imagined.

~Thoreau

Air France

Blessings and Peace,
Jodi