A little Christmas Hope

It all started with a Facebook post by my friend Dawn. There I was, just scrolling along reading remnants of peaceful wishes to Nelson Mandela, selfies and of course the usual photos of puppies and Starbuck's Holiday Drinks when I came across her photo of decorated gingerbread men. Because I could tell the treats were home made I moved my hand to send that almost obligatory sweet gesture of clicking "like". Until I saw how many comments were posted on that photo and thought let me read, fully engage, understand what Dawn is sharing."Ok! Gingerbread Men finished! Now, we're having a contest. Vote please!!! Pick your favorite. #1 starting on the left, #4 being on the right. And the winner DOES get a prize"! Wow, what a fabulous family event. Nothing like a little healthy competition. People actually voted and shared why they favored a particular gingerbread man. For the record, I chose #3 because it's whimsical, creative and has all kinds of craziness going on. :-)
Continuing on my FB journey, I come across a post from my dear friend Freida. She shared how her exhausted husband walked into their home after working really long hours this week to the warm embrace of his three children and their cray cray cat in the Christmas Tree.

I couldn't help but smile as I read these updates. The smile surprisingly came naturally. This is the time where I write my confession so if you're not comfortable with the ugly, messy truth, log out now. I, @jodisjoy, have been struggling with joy this season. Last year at this time, I vowed that Christmas 2013 would be different. I would make regular deposits into my holiday account to ensure that I could create the kind of Christmas I've always dreamed. I didn't plan on talking about or stressing over money as I figure out how to meet the bills and provide gifts for my son. I said that I would refuse to look longingly at the presents my friends' were buying and receiving because next year would be somehow better. Well, it's not quite happening like I envisioned. Isn't life funny that way? Seems to be the norm now, things seem a bit more unpredictable. Life often bullies its way through us like a tornado in the Midwest picking and choosing when and where it wreaks havoc. Maybe you can relate?

 We've all read the stories on how Jesus is the reason for the season and America is going to hell because we've  commercialized and capitalized on His birth. But, I am past the point of cliche feel good stories. No one can hand you joy as well intentioned as they may be. Joy comes from within and as I read those Facebook posts, I knew that I must dive deep, touch bottom and spring forth in gratitude. I took my sorrow, made it and myself a cup of coffee, lit candles, turned on Christmas music and conjured up every ounce of joyful hope within. I swept, scrubbed and mopped my house as my insides were being refreshed by the scents and sounds of the season.
I looked over and saw my tree. Congrats dear reader, you've made it this far in my sharing so you must be able to handle the truth. Brace yourself, here comes another. I rarely purchase a tree. Years of choosing between a tree or just one more present for my son, left our home decoration-less during the holidays. Now, I don't want to give the impression that we are destitute by any means. God has graciously blessed us over the years with more than enough. I just think telling the truth is healing. It bridges the gap and shines the light. I believe when I share wholeheartedly, I am truthfully known. And isn't that the whole point of life? I'm simply sharing my heart with you.

This is my tree.

I accompanied my parents and brother to the store last night and had no intentions of walking out with a tree. My heart lept because just the fact that I was bringing a tree home meant that I did fulfill my goal. I was so overwhelmed in fact that I went to the bathroom and cried. Don't tell my family because I cleaned up my face before I rejoined them. As small of a thing as that may seem, this Christmas is already different than the last. My original plan was not to write this blog until I could show you the tree all nicely decorated but that didn't sit right with me. Life, like my favorite gingerbread man can be whimsical, messy and all kinds of crazy. It may not look like our neighbors', sister's, parents', pastors' but nevertheless, it is ours for the creating.






This is my family

and it is the first time (nearly 18 years) I am allowing myself to not to hide in the over arching safety of my extended family. God has been good to me and my son, gracious, giving, forgiving and loving. He continually gifts us with compassion and strength.

And He has blessed us to be a part of this family...

This year my heart aches for the broken hearted and the downtrodden, for those who lost loved ones and can't seem to make their way back to joy. To those of you I say, keep swimming better yet, turn around and let whatever goodness that comes your way carry you to a brighter day. Like Macy's says...Believe!

J~