The Art of Receiving...My first lesson on my South African Journey

South African Flag

My voyage to South Africa conjured a flurry of emotion. With all of my senses engaged, I often just stood there paralyzed by the beauty of the moment. My experience was a gift and over my next few blog entries, I will attempt to translate my thoughts into words.....

According to Acts 20:35, "...It is better to give than receive". Give of your time, your resources, your money and yourself because it is good and right and virtuous to do so. There is a certain satisfaction earned through giving. Whether it be the devoted gratitude of the receiver or the moral kudos required by the ego or the drive to become a good person, giving plays a central role in the human experience. Sharing is caring after all, right?

I remember a few years back actually, more like a decade ago, I was new to single motherhood. A co-worker would occasionally pull me aside on her way out the door. This Angel disguised as a woman, would press money into my hands at the end of our day. I would always say "Oh no please, keep your money. Things are tight for everyone". She would repeatedly say "You must take it. This is a gift". Reluctantly, I would accept the offering. I hesitated because 1. I knew it was better to give than to receive and 2. I was uncomfortable with receiving. One day as I was profusely refusing the money, she in a very stern tone, took control of the situation. With her feet firmly planted, she squared her shoulders and looked me right in the eye. What she shared next would change my perspective on giving. She made it very clear that every time I refused her money, I was being selfish..Me, selfish by not taking her money??? What?!? I became a bit indignant explaining that I don't expect her to just give and I understand things are tight everywhere. "Every time you refuse to receive, you stop my river of blessings from flowing. The only way I can continue to receive is by giving. That is a spiritual law..so please Jodi..open your hands and allow me to bless you so my river continues to flow. There will come a time when you will become the giver, and maybe only then you will understand the flow of the river".

On that day, I made an agreement with myself to pay it forward. Over the next few years, I gave my time, my money, my talents and my resources. I gave because I desired to do so. And I gave because I wanted to do the right thing. Now don't get me wrong, I am not saying that I became Mother Theresa by any stretch of the imagination. I simply became more comfortable with giving, doing, creating and planning than I did with receiving. I learned to make things happen for myself and others...big things, small things and everything in between.

Basically, I missed the whole point of my human angel's words of wisdom. But thank God for second, third and 13th chances. As I prepared for my journey, several friends offered bon voyage well wishes. Those who know me very well said things like "Jo, don't try to control everything..just relax and trust that whatever happens is supposed to happen. Be open and enjoy". Several years ago (um who am I kidding..more like months ago), I would have cringed at the mention of me trying to control anything...talk about denial!! But thank God for small and not so small miracles. I am learning to let go...slowly but surely learning to relinquish and surrender. I should have known life would present a test to monitor my progress in this area.

On my 21 hour flight across several continents, I had plenty of time to imagine all I might possibly do. Quieting my thoughts long enough to catch a few hours of sleep proved nearly impossible. I am certain the flight attendants could hear my heart beating. A near 25 year old dream would finally be realized. At 14 years old, while sitting at lunch at Marymount High school in Los Angeles, Caifornia I declared that one day I would travel to South Africa. And now I find myself landing in Capetown.

What happens from that moment until now is so overwhelming, so well orchestrated by God and man, so memorable and so personal that sharing details in a blog seems almost sacrilegious. But, I can't leave you in suspense so, I will describe it in the following way...I saw fog roll back while standing on a mountain top, just so I could witness night time city lights. A glorious sunset of the most brilliant orange, yellow and red hues was hand delivered on a platter while I sipped red wine paired with a divine piece of chocolate.
Waves of gratitude washed over me as I relaxed in a thatch roofed tent wearing a plush robe as I received Neo Maota (traditional royal African foot scrub and massage). On this trip, I was pampered and challenged. I was protected and exposed. And I was vulnerable and strong. Absolutely every moment was a gift, a lesson, an opportunity to grow in new and deeper ways.

I received. With a grateful heart, I made every effort to surrender to each moment. My South African life was selflessly, generously and lavishly bestowed upon me. My only requirement..To RECEIVE. At times, I did not comprehend the beauty of this gift. Now I am beginning to understand. Receiving is an art. I am humbled, honored and eternally grateful.