Simply The Best

Photo:TinaTuner.com

A few months ago, I tuned into Oprah's Next Chapter as she interviewed the Queen of Louboutin's, Ms. legs herself, Tina Turner. I was expecting to hear how she moved on from Ike long ago and made peace with her past as a victim of domestic violence. I just knew they would show clips of her belting out "Simply the Best" and "Proud Mary" as she shimmied across the stage. What I wasn't prepared for was the moment she said "I needed to love".

I handled it when Ms. Turner proudly exclaimed "These are the glory days. This. Now". Maybe that rattled some of your cages? How could this legend who made her fortune shaking, dancing and singing hang up her heels and retire in Switzerland? I didn't need to ask myself that question. She was born, she dove head first into a brilliantly creative career and she gave it her all. I get that. But this idea she presented, the idea of needing to love rocked me to the core.

So without drawing any immediate conclusions, I simply watched the end of the interview as I turned that statement over and over again in my mind. How does that resonate with me? With everything she shared why does this admittance "need to love" push buttons? Smiling as I type, thinking of how I used to fear delving into the deep questions.

We've been taught that love in any relationship is measured by how deeply the other person cares for us through the giving of things. In romantic relationships this translates to the size of the gifts, trips, a home(s), the diamonds. In return we often reward or entice through favors. We are looking for what we can get. This idea of "needing to love" flips the coin. It is declaring, deciding, choosing to enter relationship because WE need to love. This is a game changer.

I met a 9 year old girl recently, who greets everyone with a shy yet inviting smile, open arms and an enormous heart. She radiates love. I know it may seem like I'm digressing, I promise it will come full circle. Someone asked her "why are you just so sweet and so loving?". She shrugged her shoulders unsure of how to respond, possibly even wondering am I supposed to answer that? I pulled her close to me and ever so gently whispered into her ear hoping it would seep deep down into her heart "The next time someone asks you that, tell them this: It is because I have a lot of love in my heart. I'm well loved so I can give that to others". With a huge grin, she wrapped both arms around me and squeezed tightly.
I pointed out my parents, siblings, nieces and cousins, showing her that I am also surrounded by lots of love.          
And then it clicked.

I had been waiting for, searching for, hoping for someone to just love me. Yes, I would love them back for loving me of course. But, I didn't fully grasp that my first purpose, my full purpose, is to give love. I was born for connection, made to share, designed to nurture. I NEED to give love. In that moment, I began to demonstrate this subtle yet powerful shift in perspective. I infused love into the people in my life and things changed. Love was all around me. I learned to abide in it, bask in it, exude it and it came back to me in a deeper way than I have ever known.

I became bold in love, comfortable with declaring I need to love.

Now I understand why it is better to give than to receive. In my giving I get doubly blessed. Blessed by the freedom to express my whole heart and then blessed by the love that is returned to me. As I radiate love, love can't help but find me.








YOU SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF LOVE
LIKE YOU KNOW WHAT IT MEANS
~Simply The Best, Tina Turner

Photo:Soletschat.net

love & blessings,
J~