Our deepest fear....

Moyo Restaurant at Spier Winery, South Africa

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us".

This has been a favorite quote of mine for about 7 years. It comes from a book entitled a Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. I am a fan.

Although, I can pretty much repeat this quote verbatim, I didn't get a real understanding of these first two sentences until a few weeks ago.

Over the last year, several co-workers have approached me about re-vamping their look. They often begin with a story about how/when/where/why they "lost" their sense of self including their beauty. While the details differ from woman to woman, the stories have a similar thread. These women usually share that they own dresses but, no longer feel feminine enough or courageous enough or thin enough to wear them. Some ladies say that while others may think they look fine, they don't feel fine. They are seeking something more..a return to self..a return to love. I step in by simply requesting a date for their big reveal. How they choose to express themselves is solely up to them.

In March 2011, a work mate set June 20th as her Diva Reveal Day. Several days before, she asked that I not make a big deal about this. I smiled fully aware that I have yet to meet a woman who gets her hair cut and colored, a new dress and shoes who wants only to be ignored. Moving forward with my plans, I prepared by requesting assistance from others. She walked in to a decorated desk of flowers, banners, a tiara, a card and a gift card for a pedi at the nail spa from her unit. But most importantly, about 15 of us gathered around her cheering and clapping as she strutted her stuff down the row. Beaming with sugar and spice, I saw her blossom before my eyes. She was all full of light and love. She returned to love.

While many people gathered around not everyone understood the power of this moment. The week before the big reveal, a banner was passed for anyone who felt like writing words of encouragement. I was a bit disconcerted that a majority of the well wishers wrote things like "You are beautiful as you are. Don't change. We love you and you are already a star". Now this is a very nice message from genuinely thoughtful individuals. However....it reminded me that sometimes the people we are closes to will not share in our vision of self-growth.

No doubt this woman is an ideal employee, a team player, a sweet spirit and a caring person but, she felt the need for change. She craved change. She stretched herself, challenged herself and mustered up the courage to look insecurity square in the face. She, with full awareness, looked at an area in her own life where she felt inadequate and decided to let go of the fear. She embraced her light. Others around her were nervous for her or was it for themselves...Scared of what she may discover on this journey. They knew her in a certain capacity and they were comfortable with that role. Who would this new woman be? How would they relate to her? And what does her striving for something more reveal about their own feelings of inadequacy. Darkness conceals. Light reveals!

She pressed through and has continued her new look to this day. She walks different, talks different and has encouraged others to break free.

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won't feel insecure around you. We are all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone. And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

 Last Sunday after service ended, I was grabbing a cup of coffee when I was cornered approached by one of the elders. She peered at me with her coffee cup near her mouth and said, "Um Jodi, I know you work, you are a single mom and you love to travel but, what are you here to do? What is your purpose"? Now, first let me be completely truthful and admit that I was a bit irritated. What kind of question was that? I wanted to say "why are you just running up on people all willy nilly and asking BIG LIFE QUESTIONS like that"?? But, she spoke to my light. I admit there is some fear keeping me from becoming all of the woman I know I am. I looked this well intentioned woman in the eye and said without falter, "I am here to inspire others to live their best lives. I am here to inspire women and girls in particular to reach for their goals...you know to help bridge the gap between where they are and where they desire to be". There was a pause between us. I stood there maybe waiting for her reaction but thinking yes that's true. That resonates with my spirit. With a wink and a smile, she replies "Uh huh, yes, I know that, get on with it". As I let my own light shine....

 Durban, South Africa: Pier on the Indian Ocean

Blessings for a prosperous Independence Day. Flow in your Freedom!

Robben Island, South Africa: Mandela's Prison

Jodi