A Season of Change

I remember when we had a short cold spell in June, a few friends posted how they were waiting eagerly for the heat of Summer. I just don't get it. Why are you begging the sun to shine upon us at 110 degrees? What could possibly be pleasant about that? While I do love a sunny afternoon at the beach, a glass of cool lemonade on a hot summer day and alfresco dining under the setting sun, I consider myself more of an Autumn loving girl.

Boston Public Park

Cinnamon scented pine cones, Starbuck's pumpkin spiced lattes and cozy sweaters just fill my heart with glee. The rich color of egg plant and leather boots soothe my soul and somehow remind me that there is beautiful protection from the blustery winds. California residents don't quite get the change of seasons that many parts of our great country experience. But, that doesn't stop us from doning multi colored scarves and gloves like our sisters on the East Coast!

Lilly Therese

Besides great fall fashion and sumptuous comfort food, I love this season for it's spiritual implications. I am reminded of my first lesson on the Native American world view. I opted to take a class during my freshmen year at Berkeley which changed the way I think about life and death. My professor said that a Western approach looks at the world in a linear fashion. Starting point is life and the ending point is death. The Natives see life as circular. Life, death and rebirth all interconnected, all divine.

I often hear Spring celebrated as the season of change. The blooming of blossoms, budding flowers and pollinating bees illustrate newness. The manifestation of what was once dead now springing forth into life. I believe that Spring is all of this however, it can not be without death occuring first. There would have been no power in the Resurrection of Jesus Christ had He not willingly laid His life down first. See, it is all circular.

 So, the season is changing and Fall is at hand. We still have hot days but it is already getting darker earlier. Soon the leaves will turn colors and gracefully let go of their home on the branch and fall. They surrender to their new shades, surrender to the season. The foliage succumbs to the natural occurrence of change. Transitioning into a state of decomposition, otherwise known as rot. The study of this science is called Taphonomy from the Greek word taphos which means grave. According to Wikipedia this process happens in stages. Each part contributing to the breakdown of what once was. "The process is essential for new growth and development of living organisms because it recycles the finite matter...".

Four Seasons, same tree

The process is essential for new growth. This makes me think of all the times I become afraid to surrender to my moments. I often become stubborn in my attempt to keep control of a situation or even a person. I remember the times my feelings were hurt because someone or something did not follow the script I created for them. There is no ad libbing on the Jodi Show. Fear of disappointment has taught me to require a finalized rough draft from every player submitted solely for approval. My approval. And when these indviduals or circumstances played themselves out in a manner I disagreed with, I became more fervent in my effort to make them act right. How dare they not follow their lines!

Unfortunately, my lesson in all of this is simply to Let Go! I have wasted so much energy in my attempt to control. But most importantly, I missed life changing moments. I may have wanted the person to stay in an eternal state of Summer, fun and frolicking, carefree and easy. I didn't recognize their need to blossom or die to a habit, their need to break free from the role I created for them. Maybe it's not so much that I missed this but rather, I chose to ignore the signs of an approaching change of season.

I have also gritted my teeth and sank my nails into my own bad behaviors. Too many times of attracting the wrong men, post divorce, influenced me to hang onto my leaves of protection. The season is approaching. The Grimm Reaper is knocking. Will I fight to hang on to the walls I have so conveniently built or will I surrender to death. This Autumn, I have a choice to make. In order to regenerate, renew, restore myself and reap the benefits of new beginnings, I must allow the process of decomposition to run it's course. I must Fall. I must Let Go. The beautiful part of all of this release is I know that Spring will soon follow and I will reap rewards of a new beginning.

May you heart be enlarged to accept the end of a thing and surrender! ~Jodi

 Japanese Cherry Blossom