Lessons vs. Tools

When I first started on my path of enlightenment, I took great pride in wondering "now, what is the lesson in this experience, person, trial?". So through being in hot water, stuck between a rock and a hard place, livin' on a prayer and my back against the wall, I learned a lesson in patience, love, tolerance, faith and hope. Through having a large family, new friendships, graduating from Cal, my travels, being a single mother, and being attracted to different cultures, foods and languages, I learned a lesson in patience, love, tolerance, faith and hope. For years I would see the world through a lens which enabled me to find the silver lining no matter how ominous or glorious the cloud. I guess some would refer to this as being optimistic. A pretty important trait to possess if I might say so myself. My motto..there are no coincidences. Oh yeah, and we must not forget the role of my favorite word/lesson...Serendipity (an aptitude for making desirable discoveries by accident).

Lesson, something learned by study or experience as defined by the Merriam-Webster Online Dictionary. This was actually easy for me..the whole looking for the lesson in every situation. In a strange way, I became almost robotic with it. Using my optimism like some iPhone App. Believe me, I am not complaining about this. I will always see that proverbial glass as half full. But, on February 20, 2010, my world was turned topsy-turvy. My thought process was challenged. I was asked to stretch, rethink, go back to the drawing board, rewrite the script and change the lens. You know like the picture of the bunny and duck which sort of shift as you tilt your head. Same image, different perspective. I remember the date because I was sitting on the left hand side of the bed in one of the guest bedrooms at my sister girlfriend's house on a cul de sac in Northern California. Sister girlfriend was sitting at the end of the bed near my feet and my Road Dawg for life was sitting to my right. The room is filled with feminine energy and the bonds of sisterhood formed from shared experiences, memories and time.


Here, with these beautiful souls, I could be vulnerable, raw and real. You see, they cried with me during those moments when I was stuck between a rock and a hard place and they accompanied me back to Cal for the first time after 17 years just so I can buy a sweatshirt that says "Berkeley Alumni". As we were recapping our wonderful weekend, sister girlfriend says something to me which could be interpreted as "Jodi, you may just have to kiss a few more frogs". OMG, for really real? That's what my inner voice said as I rolled my eyes. I try to quickly reel in all that emotion so I cover it up by saying (this is not verbatim mind you more like a grossly negligent paraphrase) "Okay, so what could possibly be my lesson in kissing more frogs"? As I say this, I was sitting on the left hand side of this bed literally racking my brain trying to figure out what grand qualities I would acquire through these experiences. So I say that, to my little self-help squad..."what is the lesson in that"? That's when sister girlfriend lays a bombshell on me!

"Jodi, the frogs aren't lessons honey they are tools"! The record scratches. Pump the brakes. Back it on up. Or as Arnold would say "What 'chu talkin' 'bout Willis?". She advises me to change my perspective. In order to see them as tools, I have to change my position. Now let me clarify for you. I understood immediately because I know the heart of sister girl. She did not mean for me to use people but rather to absolutely have fun with my femininty. She was referring to the meaning of tool which closely resembles the word "implement" (noun not verb). Here is a quick lesson..a tool is defined as something that helps gain an end. An implement, more specifically, suggests a device designed for a specific job that may require some skill on the users part. Well, this just changes everything. After much thought, I realized that I just became empowered. I am in the driver's seat. So as not to disappoint, the lesson is that I am to use all of my head knowledge (the books and blogs presented in my last post) and apply them. How liberating is this?!

"I mean I didn't even know frogs had lips. How 'bout a nice firm handshake?"
~ Princess Tiana

Ooh La La....Red nail polish!

While "picking my color" at ProfessioNail, a customer approaches me and strikes up a bit of a conversation....

Woman: Oh this is a lovely color (showing me a mauvy pink)!
Me: Yes it is but I am leaning towards red today...It's so glamorous..sort of old Hollywood!
Woman: Well personally, I have always thought Marilyn Monroe to be a bit brassy!

Me: Um, yes she was (with a wink and a smile)as I pick up Vodka and Caviar by OPI! 

It's been awhile since my last post. I have been traveling. This trip was sort of spontaneous. It just kind of came about. I saw a romantic comedy (It's Complicated) which left me in a teary eyed blubbery mess. I needed some guidance. My sister-girlfriend called me and immediately asked "what's going on with you girl?". I share my heart. She tells me of a friend who read something somewhere about the love secrets of French Women. Sister girl couldn't remember all of the particulars but advised me to find it. I did. This trip has changed me and my life will never be the same. 

Serendipity (fortunate accident) occurred. Google is amazing. One search lead to another and nothing short of a revolution has taken place. The following has reshaped my womanhood:

theartofbeingfeminine.blogspot.com/  

www.jamiecatcallan.com , author of French Women Don't Sleep Alone

 

Intriguing, captivating and oh so feminine. Several weeks ago, I considered making my blog private. I shared with a good friend of mine considering the same thing that she had too much to offer the world to make her writings private. Since then, I have learned some things. I respect her choice. I have chosen not to hide. There is a delicate balance between sharing your heart and protecting yourself.

When I started this posting I expected to go in a totally different direction....so I will end with some seemingly random items. Believe me they are not!

There is so much pressure on American women to be happy. To sweep away all traces of loneliness, to forget who you are in your search for a lover or a spouse. In France young girls learn that happiness is elusive; we learn that happiness is less important than passion. ~ Debra Ollivier

Juliette Binoche

"As girls we Americans sit in our fields of daisies and pull off petals with, " He loves me, he loves me not, he loves me, he loves me not".  Meanwhile, French girls sit in their Meadows with their marguerites and pulls off petals with: "He loves a little. A lot. Passionately. Madly. Not at all."" ~Debra Ollivier

Courtesy of Gasoline Alley

"It is here, in the realm of relationship, that women receive the most joy and the profoundest sorrows. The friendships of women inhabit a terrain of great mystery… Although often quoted in weddings, Ruth was speaking to a woman when she said, "Where you go I will go, and where you stay I will stay. Your people will be my people and your God my God" (Ruth 1:16). There is a fierce jealousy, a fiery devotion, and a great loyalty between women friends. Our friendships flow in the deep waters of the heart where God dwells and transformation takes place. It is here in this holy place, that a woman can partner with God in impacting another and be impacted by another for lasting good. It is here that she can mother, nurture, encourage, and call forth life." ~Captivating John and Stasi Eldredge

 

Most messages for men ultimately fail. The reason is simple. They ignore what is deep and true to a man’s heart, his real passions, and simply try to shape him up through various forms of pressure.~ John Eldredge

 

Dita Von Teese