New Season, new blog

 It is a season of new beginnings for me. 

I started a new blog on a different platform www.jodisjoy.com you can find it by clicking the link.

Sometimes it can be challenging moving away from the familiar to a new place, Change is not always easy, but it is often necessary. 

I will always be fond of Blogger. This site contains years of my words. Who knows, I may republish some of my favorite writings in my new blog. 

I am reminded of a song I learned when I was a Girl Scout, "Make new friends, but keep the old. One is silver and the other is gold". 

I hope to see you over on my new website. We are building community. We are creating our joy. 

Grief Journey Part 1

I am a traveler.

I am a wanderer.

I am a treasure seeker.

I am a gallivanter.

My grief did not begin with my Mother's passing. My grief began years earlier with what seemed like a rapid fire succession of deaths around me. 

A few years ago, I spewed the contents of my weary heart at midnight as my Mom and I traveled East on the 10 freeway. Our mission was to surprise my brother for his birthday. As I was in the middle of a  rant about how overwhelmed and mentally exhausted I felt about the losses and praying for some relief, the phone rang. My Dad's voice interrupted my emotional eruption with some sad news. "I called to tell you that Granny just passed". 

I sat in silence looking out at the star filled sky. No response. My words suddenly deserted me in the literal desert. 

Two or three, maybe even four funerals later, I found myself tip toeing through life as if one false move could set off an avalanche of death. While on the outside, I could present the gift of an inspirational scripture wrapped in a pretty bow to those who have come to appreciate the power of my words, I felt like the kid who received coal on Christmas morning. 

Loss can be tricky.  In our attempt to make sense of the trauma, we often concoct coping mechanisms just to help us make it through our days. The disengaging hopelessness and utter confusion that sometimes ensues after death doesn't always happen suddenly. They creep up like a slow growing vine attaching itself to a brick wall.

My grief was slow rising. 

In pre-pandemic 2020, a beloved coworker was instantly and tragically killed in a car accident. The managerial team gathered us to publicly announce her passing. Tears, sobbing, and huddles of mourners erupted all over the room. As I offered comfort, I became aware that for many of us this grief did not begin with this most recent news. This heartbreak gave permission for all of our sorrow to flow from the depths of our souls to our eyes. We stood there crying for hurts and losses that no longer could be named. 

"We were promised sufferings. They were part of the program. We were even told, 'Blessed are they that mourn,' and I accept it. I've got nothing that I hadn't bargained for. Of course it is different when the thing happens to oneself, not to others, and in reality, not imagination". -C.S. Lewis 

I am a traveler on a grief journey making my way through the thicket of pain; running, walking, and sometimes crawling towards the light streaming through the forest. 

But there is light.

I typed that last sentence for the reader who fears their own grief so much so that they are uncomfortable with endings that don't contain a glimmer of hope. And I want to acknowledge everyone reading who can't yet see any sunshine in their dark hour. I've been in both places.

Xoxo,

Jodi

Is it a Merry Christmas?

I peddle joy as a side hustle.

I named myself @jodisjoy on my social media outlets. My original intention was to post experiences of finding joy in the everyday. The concept is great, seemed simple enough, however I had no idea that walking it out would present its own challenges.

So here I am, on the eve of the season of miracles and the most wonderful time of the year teetering between sorrow and a quiet stupor. I'm tip toeing through this holiday season trying not to wish these days away, but definitely not spreading much holiday cheer. 

So, here I am.

I am in my season of firsts after my Mom's passing. It's an interesting time to say the least. Kind of feels like learning to walk, if only I could remember what it felt like to learn to walk. Had this thought today: People, albeit well intentioned souls, want you to process your grief like a bad break-up with an ex-love. Cry it out, and get over it. Religious folks want you to give thanks to God and use the fact that your loved one is in a better place to just push past. Praise it out and get over it. No matter the path, others need the grief gone so that life as they like it can resume. 

After some losses, there is no resuming. All that remains is the option to build anew. Sifting through the ruble of emotions, I find small graces that pull me along the path. 

As I write this, I hear my son and his friend exchanging Christmas presents downstairs. There's light chatter peppered with laughter. Sounds of life. In this moment, I am smiling. There is hope.

Xoxo,

Jodi

Well Being

Hey beautiful soul you, how you holding up?

I remember this quote from Maya Angelou, "You can tell a lot abut a person by the way they handle three things: a rainy day, lost luggage, and tangled Christmas tree lights". These things that once upon a time may have seemed like a nuisance, would actually now be welcomed problems for many of us. This year has proven to be one like no other. From reports on the news, dealing with the concerns of loved ones, conspiracy theories, political showdowns, shortages of toilet paper, and hand sanitizer, often times we may feel overwhelmed before even finishing our morning coffee.

We know we have permission to shut it all down, to take a walk, call a friend, read a book, take up a new hobby, but sometimes we just want a second to breathe. We desire to feel normal even though yes, we all know that we are preparing for a new normal. I am going to be honest here, and let you know there are days that I think "Okay, girl you got this", and then there are moments, I am seriously questioning everything from my faith to my ability to get out of the bed. I realize, that none of us know how to navigate this season. We are all just learning and growing. Yes, some people have become master gardeners and are now eating the literal fruits of their labor. Some people have started businesses and will probably never return to the corporate world. And then maybe there are others like me, who applaud themselves for doing the dishes before bed.

Just maybe doing 2020 well, means that we occasionally reach out to someone and ask about their well-being. Or maybe it means when someone asks us how we are doing, we tell the truth.

Exodus 18:7 NKJV

I was reading Exodus 18 the other day, and I was paused that there was a verse in the bible simply dedicated to how Moses and his father in-law greeted one other and asked about each other's well-being. And Moses answered by sharing all of the things the Lord was doing. It is so important that while we may be physical distancing that we are staying socially connected. We are checking on all of our friends, the strong ones, the anxious ones, the prayer warriors, the fitness gurus, the elderly, and the single parents.

One of the ways, I am coping this season is by using Instagram as a means to distract, inspire, and connect with myself. On IG, I can scroll through cottage bungalow decor, natural hair pages, or motivational quotes. I included some of this weeks favorite quotes in case you might like them as well. 

@stevemaraboli on Instagram

@karlethewtt on Instagram

So tell me, how are you holding up? What things are you doing to reduce stress and to keep motivated?

Jodi 

Juicy bits

I made a commitment.
I made a pact with myself.
Wait, can you make a pact with yourself, or is that only between two parties? I actually just Googled the answer and apparently since the internet is never ever wrong, yes you can.
I made a decision to develop my writing and myself through blogging. This involves not only developing and conveying ideas, but it includes a willingness to show up always authentically and at times vulnerably.

It is midweek. I sat down to write and seriously could not think of one thing to share. Sounds crazy right?  I prayed and asked, "God, what should I share?". I scrolled through Instagram, nothing leaped out at me. My gallery did not spur any light bulb moments either. So I sat awhile longer in front of the screen determined to stick to my goal.

Noticing the images icon at the top of the blogger screen, I clicked. Right before my eyes appeared every single image I have ever posted in this blog- over 10 years worth of photographs. I saw my grandmothers who have both gone on to Heaven. Pictures of my family, vacations, delicious meals, and celebrations beckoned me to further explore. I smiled. It was the picture at the top that stopped me in my tracks.

This is where my journey with this blog began. My intention was to write about anything and everything that stirred my soul, that brought me joy. I originally named it Juicy Bits of Joy, and now I wonder what ever made me change it. Envisioning my hand filled with juicy bits, I enlisted the assistance of my brilliant photographer friend to help make my dream a reality. I carried a baggie full of strawberries to Cost Plus World Market and looked for the perfect backdrop. I knew I wanted my blog to have a global appeal due to my love of travel both far and wide. I knew I wanted a bohemian flair because I love the look. I knew I wanted an open hand because it implies both giving and receiving. When I changed the name, I changed the pic. But seeing it again today after so long, reminds me of the why I want to write. I put word to paper to convey, connect, and even sometimes to convince.

It just may be time for a name change. It just may be time for me to get back to my roots and rediscover my love for the written word. One thing is for sure, even in the toughest moments, if we seek there is always a juicy bit of joy just waiting to be found.

          Jodi